Silence: A matter of perspective....

Silence can be deafening, it can overwhelm to the point of desolation, it can overpower one with a feeling of nothingness. Once in a while however, comes an experience when you relish the power of silence because it fills you with more than the strains of a beautiful symphony ever could, the notes of which you carry in your soul long after the last crescendo has peaked and faded.

I experienced or atleast tried to experience a semblance of this during our recent visit to Monument Valley nestled in the rocky landscape that dots the Utah Arizona border. Miles and miles of barren mesas and colorful canyons stretch before you, as living edifices that bear witness to the ever changing faces of our living planet. Most of the land is a Navajo reservation and all you see are small settlements and a few trading posts where the starkness of this emptiness is accented with the bright hues of turquoise, lapiz lazuli, tigers eye, malachite, coral and such other riots of color studded in hand made sterling silver jewelry. You could either buy these pieces of jewelry or see items like this beautifully pinned maybe to the bodice of a tiny little wrinkly Navajo woman who wears it with pride - the lines on her face as old as the rocks, witness to history of this region and of course her people.

The rest of the color in this area during the winter comes from the blue skies riddled with white clouds, the greenish hues of the San Juan River as it meanders into the most artistic goosenecks, the golden dust that is kicked up by wild horses running throug the wide open planes, the purple hues of twilight as the western sky gives way to a zillion stars piercing through the inky black of the horizon. There is really nothing to "see" here other than a few rock formations with names like the "mittens", "rooster and hen butte", "battleship butte", "the seven sailors" and of course the famous "lady in a tub". However, there is more to fathom in this place than many others that I have had the opportunity to visit.

Driving along the famous Valley of the Gods Scenic byway as you make your way to Muley Point, the road meanders through rocky cliffs, to a point, where you feel you can touch the sky. The sunset from there amidst the dark thunder clouds is not something I will ever be able to describe in words, because there is only so much the eye can see and the mind comprehend. The place may not have the pristine beauty of Bryce or the verdigris of the north west. It may lack the aqua from the beaches in San Diego, or the quaintness of Alpine Europe, and yet it is the absence of all this is what makes this place so full of life, of hope, of the spirit that resonates in each of us.

The memory of this trip was captured with our respective Canon Rebels, but the feel of the place is something we didn't even attempt to talk about. How can you even try to define the infinite?

The picture on this blog comes closest to what I can possibly translate in coherent words. I found this little pile of stones ( probably a little child's handiwork) and as I looked at one of the "mittens" behind it, the entire universe seemed to come together with a very simple meaning.

We all have a place in it, however small, however insignificant, we have a role. Nothing would have been taken away from the landscape had those stones been missing, and yet because of those little stones, the monolith behind took on a whole new meaning and as I stood taking in this wonder, the sound of silence overwhelmed me once again and I knew it was time to leave. The soul is not always ready for all the beauty the world has to offer or understand the power of silence until it has found its own stillness.

Of self explanatory gastronomic experiments...

Just as the pictures suggest... nothing earth shattering or unique about the recipes, fun little experiments and when folks asked me for the details, I had to show off just a wee bit.. not so much the recipes but my newly acquired skills on Picasa.. yes they all work, photographed by yours truly and people who tasted them are still alive and kicking... how is that for credibility eh? ;)

From our table to yours with holiday love...

Pritha

.. in fact it's just another ordinary day

.. love those lines from the song that left all of us who could claim our teenage years to the 80s, fall in love with the romance of musio. Stevie at his best made me memorize the American calendar of holidays long before I knew this country would be my second home. Little did I know that the colors, seasons and my shopping "emphaaasis" would be determined by the beauty of those lyrics.

My 39th has been just like my 38th, probably will be just like my 40th. I love birthdays, enjoy every moment of being wished by loved ones, being treated to some lovely gifts, made to feel special at home , work etc. Each and every post on my page on FB makes me naively happy because to me someone took the time out of their crazy day to write a few words. Knowing how forgetful I can be, I really am so touched by these simple gestures in life.

I remember growing up, my birthday epiphanies and resolutions were seemingly profound, had to be etched with meaning and philosophy, had to have a higher purpose, something larger than life. Age caught up I guess and today, I am loving and living every minute of my day, just as I would love and live any minute of tomorrow or the day after. For a long time, it was all about the destination and the journey was taken for granted. Today it is the journey that makes the difference.. who cares where the road winds up at, you know you had the love and blessings of the people in your life who really matter.

Yup it was just another ordinary day with an early morning drive watching the sunshine reflect off the car fenders in front of me, meetings that went on and on and the fun ones that got cancelled, a quick lunch at my favorite deli, some Sub For Santa work wtih ornaments for a family of 6 that we are helping over Christmas as a department, my soy latte, some strategy consulting.. and then it will be time to go home and do our tuesday takeout from the Indian restaurant in Provo...

But I know this for a fact, as I go back to humming the tune I started with.. I will stop and smille at the lines.. "not even thanks for all the Christmas joys you bring..." how can thanks suffice for all the wishes and kindness that fill your soul and make you want to be a better person.. not just on your birthday but on every ordinary day....

The "Man"strual cycle...

Yes ladies and gentle ( or not so gentle ) men... no matter who has done the research and what papers have or haven't been published, men go through cycles. Oh yes! they do !!! Doesn't matter if they are married, were married, wish they were or weren't married, in love, out of love, wishing they didn't give a freak about love... all heterosexual women will unanimously agree that there is something called the "man"strual cycle. Of course the men reading this page, will add spoonfuls of sugar, salt, or pegs or kegs of other liquid beverages to digest my comments; needless to say, it will depend on the time of the month and where in their cycle they are.

As women, we play various roles as daughter, sister, girlfriend(s), wife, mother , co-worker etc and in all of these roles, we have to interact with the "stronger" sex on and off. Nowhere are these cyclical behavior patterns of men most apparent in these interactions, as they are in their roles as boyfriends and husbands and maybe sometimes rarely as co-workers.

Let's talk about the spouse first, as most of my captive audience who humor me by reading my blog are married. I remember a week after I was married (to the man I am still married to for nearly 12 years), I took a day off from work and arranged his closet (the Godrej almirah, commonly seen in most homes in India) and was phenomenally pleased with my handiwork and the sweetness of my gesture of course. I got all dolled up for him to come home that night and swoon over my thoughtfulness etc etc.

Instead, the first reaction I got was one of slight frustration about not being able to find some item of clothing, followed by what remains a blur. I do recall that the interaction gradually increased in decibel and involved phrases "like my space", " I was doing something for you", "my mom used to do this", "I can take care of myself.." ,some torrential downpour of tears, followed by some more similar phrases. Suffices to say, the man arranges his own closet.

So where does the cycle come in , I hear a deep baritone mutter under his breath as one my readers obliges me. Well my friend, here is the deal, this is the same man who will willingly help out in the kitchen, empty the dishwasher, offer to vacuum the carpets, clean the wood floor etc, but ask him to take the laundry basket to the laundry room and OMG you gotta take a number. This is quite unlike the fairer gender, where it is important both physiologically and psychologically that the cycles stay consistent, which makes it so much easier to predict our mood swings, food or "other" cravings or lack there of.. etc etc..

For men, this feature is totally random. I mean the spouse could be out all weekend driving around town running errands, eating out, watching a movie and on the way back, it is like the the Spirit Donkey Eeyore has cast his magic spell of gloom and doom. HEAVEN FORBID if at that time u ask the question.. "sweetie are you ok?" and you get the "shut up or I will glare you down" glare, followed by.. "Am fine, will you quit asking that?" Okay then.. so be it.. be your grumpy self for all I care.. am not arranging closets anymore remember.. we all grow up.

The spousal journey is very interesting but being of a somewhat romantic disposition, I have been in love with the concept of love for several decades now. Tennyson remains my mentor about the justification of self pity of better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all etc. So watching people fall in and out of love like flies getting zapped by electric fly catching shock thingies, and being in the shoes or wings of a fly myself, it is not uncommon to see the early signs of the "man"strual cycle emerge even in the "non-committal-totally in love-putting one's best foot or other body parts forward" relationships.

In defense of all the married men reading this, you are not the only sorry lot in the cyclical situation. Your symptoms start a long time ago, both you and the silly bimbette that you may be dating have no freaking clue... until of course you shape up and get into an actual relationship with a woman with both brains and the other stuff.

Boyfriends, significant others, arm candy.. whatever u wanna call them are a fun lot. In the beginning they seem to be totally devoid of cyclical deviations as they kinda behave like bobble head dolls moving in cadence with their lady or any of her appendages, in total alignment, saying the right things at the right time, keeping shut when necessary ( do I look fat?... there is NO RIGHT ANSWER ) bringing flowers, soup, chocolate, small dogs or cats, whatever the situation demands. However, once familiarity sets in so does.. contempt? Na.. not that harsh, but yes the cycles. The compliments get infrequent, phrases like "what do u want me to say", "tell me what you want and I will get that for you on your birthday", "No I don't like your best friend" "oops , yes I do like her, but no I am not interested in her.." etc.. u know the routine.

Bottom line, women have been characterized with PMS, MMS, SMS, who knows what other acronyms when it comes to the "time of the month". A lot has been written about this stuff with scientific facts etc and yours truly will not refute any of those claims, the mood swings etc, because there are readers of this page who will publicly flog me about lying so I will happily and humbly concede that I am at fault. But this goes out to all skeptical men who think they are the most even keeled, practical, logical creatures of habit who are seldom ruffled by anything or anyone. Newsflash people!!.. that ain't true... You don't have to be from Mars or any other planet for that matter, because God's green earth provides ample examples.

How else do I explain a spouse who helps me with the creative title to this blog (although this term is found on the web in urban dictionaries), sends me the link before he contacts an old crush, will not wear buy sports shorts to go to the gym, instead wear frayed denim ones, goes into a silent mode almost every Sunday night, joins Facebook after his 40th birthday, won't eat breakfast before leaving the house and thinks little tomatoes should be left on the trees for birds to eat them!

So friends, doesn't matter if you feel like the bike or the biker in the relationship, the predictability and the unpredictability of the cycles are what keeps the views interesting.

Ladies in particular, accept the cycles in your man, learn from it, grow from it, know from it.. that what goes around comes around !

that is powerful information.. think about it.. USE IT....

Cyclically yours as always...

Pritha